Friday, November 19, 2010

DMX: Am I doing it right? Guys? Aw man.

Taken and adapted from

Determined not to miss out on the coverage, DMX went and got himself arrested for failing to check in with his PO. One can only hope it was worth it, because now he has a probation revocation hearing scheduled.

I love society. It's actually profitable for him to do this, because it means he gets to stay (become?) relevant. "Hey, did you hear T.I. hates prison? Also, DMX might be on his way there!" "Oh, man. I totally forgot he existed!" X's wet dream. More likely: "DMX is an idiot hahaha what a dickhead."

I love the idea of him sitting in a chair somewhere watching a solid gold clock, the seconds ticking down, weighing up going to prison vs not going to prison. Once he decides he's not going to check in, he still has to wait until it's too late. Then, he decides it was a stupid idea, but now there's nothing that can be done about it except at least hope his mugshot makes it to TMZ. The internal torture is hilarious. Forgive me if I don't feel bad for rappers trying to bump each other off the front page.

All press is good press. Now we just have to wait for Drake to down some purp and rob a liquor store ("TELL THE COPS IT WAS AUBREY AND HE SAID T.I. IS A BITCH AND TMZ IS GAY.") I'm just playin', he'd probably say Drizzy.

Disclaimer: Mr Graham is probably not going to rob a liquor store. If he did, though, he would write a really good rap about it.

When I walked in the door
Holdin dat 44
His instincts said hit the floor
But in my core I knew
What I had to do
Tip and X in the news?
Fuck it make that Drizzy too

Haha, it was really rather rude
Shootin' some old dude
But the drank went and took hold
Sittin' in the cell I stewed
But I am going to sell the exclusive interview to TWPB and make him rich so it's okay.

I should ghost write. Call me.


  1. dmx is super washed up. the only way he can make a good comeback is if he releases a new album. even than people would still doubt him, but have a more insight of whats been happening with him lately. damn cokehead.

  2. I feel really out of the loop. Who's DMX? D: